If Not Today, Then When?

After having such a fun weekend with my WIAP buddies, I am almost dreading going back to my dull and boring life. :) It's a sad state of affairs, I tell ya.

Expecting a couple of things this week that will keep me going. My all time favorite low calorie salad dressing should arrive today. Yes, it takes so little but this stuff is FANTASTIC and I can only get it by mail order here. Plus I'm waiting on my BL paperwork in order to qualify for the contest so I'm anxious for that. Especially since my vehicle is finally puffing along at a pace that is scary. It's never good when you can't rely on your vehicle to get you across the state so you have to rent a car. OH WELL!!! Story of my life. But hey, I DO know a great car salesman in West Tennessee so I can just visit my little tribe mate again and get a car while I'm at it. :)

Not much else going on. I have to work Wed, Thurs and Fri morning, although my buddy DivaE is having her 21st birthday on Thursday and THAT should be a blast. What on earth do you get a gal that is turning 21?? Besides the obvious. *laughing*

Planning a trip to Georgia around the 7th. I promise, I don't normally go outside my little comfort zone but lately I've had the itch. So I'll be heading out that direction for a day or so, then heading to Huntsville Alabama and possibly a few other places. Kids are out of school on Friday and Monday of that weekend so why not. Gonna stop by and visit my lovely Mom, who should be a pack member if she could only figure out the internet. HAHAHA Plus she went and got married to the love of her life (too bad his family isn't, but that's another story) so she probably can't relate to the pack-dom on most days. She's still in the honeymoon phase! Ewwwwww!

Welp, guess I better close. Time to do the "kid / school" thing and get motivated to clean this nasty @ss house. Lovely!

Egads, I am certainly ready for one! Work is driving me totally insane, family is not on the top of my list and it's time for a meeting of the "ladies" minds! Only thing better than a road trip is a FEMALE ONLY roadtrip! Yeeeeeeeeehaw!!!!!!!!!!

So packed last night and heading out in a few. Hope the weather holds up as I see it's storming where I'm going. Luckily not even a little bit of rain can stop me.

... I am just so tired today.

I was reading a recent blog by my dear friend jai. She's had conflict brought into her life by others around her and she's FED UP. Damn if I can't relate. I'm tired of conflict. I'm tired of negative attitudes. Those types of personalities just bring you down and it has finally brought me to the brink of exploding.

My spouse has been away on a business trip.

My son's baseball coach from last summer was almost murdered on Monday night -- right in front of his 10 year old son. Unfortunately, the son had to witness the deaths of his grandfather, grandmother and maternal grandfather at the same time. This all happened at the local "community park" where my son now plays football. Last night he had a scrimmage scheduled but I didn't take him because I ASSUMED they'd not play where news cameras were rolling, blood was still on the ground where people had died and nerves were on edge. I called the football coordinator to ask if they'd moved the event somewhere else... no answer. Left a message. No response. I am sick to death of idiots that just go about their business and don't care about others. We never, ever get a phone call when things are changed or moved around. It's like we don't exist.

So I start son on homework, which usually takes us 3 hours to do. I tell him over 6 times to sit down and start on it. He wants to wait until his Father comes home from his trip to help him. I warn him, "He will be tired and irritated. Do it now." Son doesn't listen. Husband arrives, see's homework isn't done and immediately goes into temper overload. I go to bed at 11, listening to "You stupid sh*t, do this problem. Are you a fool?"

And guess what? I wake up to that crap again this morning at 6:15 because he woke the son up to do it all over again.

Even better, stupid husband puts his money underneath a piece of paper. When he can't find it this morning, he accuses the son of stealing his money.

Just another example of STUPID people that shouldn't have had children.

GROW UP!

So... I hopefully have a closing today and I can pay off some of my debt. I have taken care of that cc issue by paying it off with another cc I have BUT I am going to pay THAT off with this closing check. So hopefully I will be able to move forward from that.

I'm still going to exercise three times a week. I've lost 6 inches in my waist since last month but haven't lost weight. It gets discouraging but at least I can tell a difference in the way my clothes are fitting. So that's good!!

Things in the household are still the same. My house looks horrific (especially since I've been busy trying to get things done in my business this week) but I'm at a point where I could care less. I got upset with them last weekend, pitched a fit and they actually helped pick up. That ended when the "fit" ended. The middle child is failing two of his classes... yes, already. I then found out that he just "forgot" to mention certain projects that were due. TWO WEEKS AGO!!! So now we are playing catch up. Always something with that kid.

Guess that's my update for this week. I'll try and do better....

Yep, it has been 7 days since I last posted on here. Just been a crazy week.

I had clients come in from Chicago. They wanted to look at several places for a bed/breakfast or inn. So I spent two days searching for that and then writing up contracts for others. I have a client that was all gung ho to purchase a lot, we went into negotiating things, agreed on a price and now they are "thinking". I'm about ready to pull my hair out. Then I watched the Million Dollar agents show the other day and got disgusted. *laughing* It's not easy seeing those selfish twits (I mean really, you'd lose a $130,000 commission over minor repairs?????) go about their business and complain. I'm working like a mad man on a $52,000 DEAL (um, that doesn't reflect my commission of $1100 or so).

Well heck, gotta run get lunch. I'll post more shortly...

Last night was pretty rough. I had exercise class last night so I went for an hour, came back limping because he KICKS ASS (my trainer) and walked in the door to fighting. First of all, the husband had a meeting until ??? so the kids had been left alone for an hour. No big deal since the oldest is 17 but they are like oil and water... So I finally get them to settle down when the two boys (ages 11 and 5) decide to wrestle in my bedroom. I walk in to put a stop to it when the 5 year old decides to head butt the 11 year old. Blood starts spurting from his nose and I start losing my sanity.

Blood and this chick do not mix.

Between gasping for air and screaming because they were fighting, I managed to realize that my sons nose was NOT broken. Thank GOD. But I spent several moments cleaning up the remains of that fight (including blood). 8:00 comes and goes. No husband. 9:00, my eyes are drooping and I am thinking that I would like to move to Aruba, when I get a text message that the husband "will come home, if needed". Nah, don't worry about me. I'm just here, like I always am, holding down the fort. It seems to be my specialty.

I was just complaining about feeling lonely on here. I didn't say a word to my co-workers but one of the lady agents said to me today, "You know, some of us should get together and do something one weekend." Mentally I was thinking, "YES!". I guess others have been feeling the same way that I have. This business is tough enough without having your personal issues dredging you thru the mud too.

Anyhoo, I was thinking of that song... think the Simpson girl sings is... about Pieces of Me. Sometimes I feel like I could just rip myself apart and just share the little pieces. I just don't have a whole part of me to share. And it's really dragging me down.

If not TODAY, then WHEN????????????

*sigh*

Helllloooooooooo

Yep, I do believe most of my family and friends have a life. A serious life while I'm wondering where I put mine. :) My Mom emails me that she will be away from the computer today since her hubby has a doctors appt in Birmingham. I've gotten a little spoiled by hearing from her on a daily basis (even if it's just a short hello) so it has really been quiet this morning. Then I read where jai has decided to fly the coop too!! Dang you folks that have lives!

I was thinking yesterday about life in general. When I was in high school, I was fairly popular. Well, I was when I moved to Oklahoma. I seemed to never fit in at the Alabama school that I attended previously. Being a military brat, we moved often so it was difficult being the "new kid" all the time. Anyhoo, I had friends. I then graduated and we drifted apart, which is what many people do. It's a difficult time in your life and the transition between "child" and "adult" is not always easy. As I got older, I became more reclusive in a way. Again, we moved many times and I just lost touch with people.

So I sit here thinking... I miss having "real life friends". I love hearing people talk about going out with their girlfriends and enjoying life. I just don't do that. During the recent holiday, I sat at home while I know of several families that got together, cooked out, had fun. I sometimes feel very secluded in my life and it's starting to get to me. One of my best friends, jai, lives on the other side of the state so that ain't happening. Course we might not be best friends if we saw each other daily. HAHAHA You know how that is!!!

I think these feelings come from the fact that I also don't have family nearby. During Labor Day, my Mom and her husbands family had a cookout. They live 7 hours from me so it's not like we can drop what we are doing and drive down there. I just miss having family and friends that actually spend time together. Looking at these four walls gets old, fast.

And since I'm complaining this morning... I had an agent walk up to me yesterday and make a comment that really irked me. This agent is a gentleman that is making pretty good money in the business. Well heck, he makes enough to go to Aruba twice a year. So he hears that I am interested in being an assistant for some Realtors and he says, "You need to make sure what you are doing is legal. The Commissioner can come down on you and you can lose your license." Ummmm, I can't be a real estate assistant??? I smiled and said, "If you ever need my services, contact me." He didn't take the hint. "Well, I'm just saying that you need to make sure you are doing this in the right way."

whatever.

It just seems like you can't do ANYTHING without someone harping lately. Look, I need the money. Period. How blunt can I get? I'm not taking trips to Aruba. I'm not driving a new Chrysler 300. I'm not opening the front door to my lakefront 4,000 square foot property. I am struggling. Give me a freakin' break folks!

So perhaps I might be better off enjoying my echo. At least I'd hear intelligent conversation for a change huh?

I started having a severe headache yesterday morning and I'm sure that 90% of that was due to stress. I can't seem to shake this doom over my head recently!

But I'm still determined to just move forward. I can't change yesterday now, can I? So today is TODAY and tomorrow can still be painted so I'm going to get back up, brush myself off and move forward.

Had a co-worker call me today and ask if I'd work their floor for them out of our busier office tomorrow morning. Um yeah, I do believe I will! I have two closings this month, that I desperately need. I could use more clients and more connections.

I've given some thought about forming a women of business network in our county. Yes, one more thing to add to my schedule but if we met only once a month and then brainstormed, I think it would be a fabulous thing! I would love to form a group where we can pick two "situations" to sponsor in our area. Whether that be goodwill or just something that would benefit our area -- it would just be great to do. So I think I might approach a few of the ladies in business of our area and see if there is an interest. Can't hurt huh!

I also started a side business this weekend, Real Assistants. Thank you jai for the name idea! Hopefully I can drum up a little moolah this way too. Time will tell!

Hope you had a nice holiday weekend. I'm glad mine is O*V*E*R! Phew...

Let me start off by saying... I did NOT wake up in the best of moods today. Yes, I can change that. I can wake up and say positive things in order to create a positive world around me but to hell with that. *laughing* Actually, it just wasn't happening today.

Went to my sons football game last night and thought I'd freeze in the last hour of the game. I am LOVING that Fall is just around the corner. But next time, I bring something to put on when it gets below 70 degrees. Got home around 10:15, went to read and fell asleep with the book in my hand. Woke up this morning and immediately started stressing out over money.

Let me say this... I WILL get my act together financially. I am sick to death of counting pennies. I have already applied online at a few of the local stores here for a part time position. This way I can work part time and make some extra money while also working the real estate business. But it doesn't help my immediate money concerns until I have money in hand so there ya go.

Then I get on the computer and a client of mine has sent me a snippy little email. Let me first say that this client is just irrational. Sometimes you can't help but "like" her because she can be a nice person but 90% of the time, she makes no sense. She is a former real estate agent herself but asks / says things that drive me insane. She literally ruined a recent deal of mine after talking to her family members (son and DIL) and making them fret over things. She is selling her duplex (we are closing in two weeks) and now she thinks the whole deal is falling thru. Why? I haven't a freakin' clue. It's like she HAS to assume the worst on everything in her life. So I get this email saying that her husband called me on Friday (I am "off" for the holidays... not answering calls, unless an emergency, until Tuesday morning) and I've not returned his call. They expect to hear from you daily, I'm beginning to think. I simply don't have time for that. No news in this business is good news. So I have to admit that I sent her a terse email and explained to her that I AM SPENDING TIME WITH MY FAMILY and I would return his call on Tuesday since it was not an emergency call. DO NOT ASSUME the worst is going to happen. I'm a good agent. I explain the in's and out's of the deal and she is a former agent and should know that is how things work.

I see where she's emailed me an apology back but I ain't in the mood for it.

ugh

I'm going to attempt to chill today. I am just feeling overwhelmed with life. I'm just not in a "happy place" and I truly think that is attainable! Yes, I know that many people in this world are going thru worse things. Trust me, I'm not that secluded in my thinking. I just feel that you have to, at some point in your life, find a place where you are comfortable within yourself and your surroundings. A place where you are content with 80% of your life: finances, marriage, children, work.

Getting to that place has been difficult for me.